Why won't it work!?!

So many of my friends have been having relationship issues and I noticed one common characteristic:
Too much pressure and no passion. The common recipe for disaster.

Oh and also if a guy wears longjohns as underwear, it will never work out.

things you might have never known

I was made to speak about myself. Here goes..



Black is the best colour
never broken any bones
dream job at age 6 was to be an Astronaut
I need to be around people otherwise I feel anxious,yet I love the feeling of independence
My favorite food is olives, and mushrooms disgust me
My dream flat would be in Paris right next to the Louvre

5 things I wanna do before I die:
1.Take a train through asia
2. Own an Arcimboldo painting/Damien Hirst piece
3.Buy my mother a villa on Lake Como
4. Find a fearless companion
5.Fake my own death

I can't say I regret anything in my past because any small detail could have changed where I am.today.

In five years from today, I see myself out of the country,making croissants in my kitchen,while wearing heels of my own design, and wondering what I should have done differently five years ago and not regretting anything. In five years and one hour, i'm going to go meet my lovely friends(that I am with in the present right now) for drinks at an outdoor cafe.

The happiest memory I have is when I saw my grandmother for the first time in 10 years.

That was harder than I thought.

Words of wisdom.

This evening, a good friend of mine got Carry Bradshaw on my ass and enlightened me with these words of wisdom on Sex and emotion.

"You know how our parents always told us that you shouldn't have sex when you're young because your not emotionally ready..? Well,turns out they were right.sex isn't just physical
and the basic reason is this:your biggest sex organ is
dunn dunn dunnnn
Your brain and your frontal cortex which is where you feel from and it is where hormones and 'randy-ness' originates.They are so interconnected man and there's no doubt about it.so maybe
our parents were right after all."

True that Z.

Rev. Runs relevance

I'm sitting here on a Sunday late at night flipping through comcastic channels when I find an entertaining gem that we know as "Run's house". I turn to it and am fully immersed right away. I can't believe the kind of stuff the MTV runs these days.Rev Run's daughter is having a party and wants a glass dance floor over the pool and fireworks that spell out her name. I want one too!I Do I do!On top of those requested items, I want an elephant that dances to Britney and diamond martini's. Not such outlandish requests,right? K, good I didn't think so.

But seriously,i'm obsessed with the Chelsea Lately show. Everyone needs to watch it,NOW!

A Miss-Leading evening

This is for my friend Lorenzo,who is confused about a current state of a relationship.


So you've been spending a lot of time inside of your new male friends bedroom, and your starting to feel confused on where this is going,right? Is it a frequent booty faux or is there a possibility that it might actually go somewhere fierce.Spot the difference between real and just plain "feel" sooner.

Do you meet and only stay in one room the entire night?If so, that sounds like a frequent flyer booty faux.

In the morning, do either of you leave right away after the morning sex?


Have you ever had breakfast together?(eating each other doesn't count). Eating a meal/ spending time together in that general time frame shows a certain level of comfort you have with each other. This could mean that there is potential in the relationship.


Think about these questions when deciding if it's want to keep pursuing your relationship status with your new fella. At some point you just need to stand your ground and pursue what you want.

Misery doesn't always need company

It's a late night,i've just run out of alcohol while at some A.S get together and I decide to meet a man for drinks so I can continue my night of drinking and wanna-be debauchery. I decide on which man to meet based on location and the amount of time I haven't seen him.

Quick Equation:
The closer he is to you,the less drunk high heel walking YOU need to do and the longer you haven't seen him, the more chance there is that you might get drunk enough to forget why it didn't work out between you guys in the first place.

So anyways, this man I decide to meet(let's name him Jack)is a pretty uptight fella. We meet on the closest corner in relation to where we both are. We start walking to the nearest bar/lounge and can hardly make conversation between each other. I realize the situation I have put myself in and contemplate making an excuse like "I just remembered that I have to clean my room because a priest is coming over in the morning to exorcise the ghosts out".

We get a table at the bar and at this point I have decided to start saying the most outlandish,uncomfortable things and he decides to return the favor.

To say the least, the evening ended with:
1.An argument about the bill/Him trying to pawn off a portion of the bill on to me.
2.Jack asking me if he stiffed the waitress(Yes you fucking did,but it's ok because Karma will get back at cha)
3.Him thinking that an attempt to slobber on my face would get him into my bed. I could have contemplated it possibly if he would have at least offered to walk me home.

Lesson to learn: A man without manners should NEVER EVER be allowed in your bed/life/mind etc.
Pick out the un-flattering characteristics early on so you don't have to deal with them later.

Booty Faux

Let's get real girls, when it's bar close, the first thing you wanna do is roll around in bed with one of those male beings. Every woman has a booty call,it's unavoidable. Unfortunately, sometimes you get carried away with your heat of the moment,Scarlett and Rhet re-enactment that you forget that your booty call is only and solely your late night lay. How do you save yourself from a potential reality clash? It's simple,just follow these hand-me down rules.

1.No over-night stays,He's not there to cuddle you through out the night.Your sole mission is to feed your horny/drunk monster and that's it.

2. Let him know the grounds of your "friendship".

3.Booty calls are emergency only. Anything regular can end up extremely messy for you.

4. Never see him during the day/evening/before 3am. If you see him during/before these times,pretend like you just met him.

5.Why go out for drinks with him when you have self-serve bar at home(and if you don't,shame on you)